It is incredibly difficult to write this. A post I never imagined I would have to write.
Our precious son, one of our twins, Henry Thomas Clark, is now in the arms of Jesus. We found out last Tuesday, October 7, during a routine ultrasound that he no longer has a heartbeat. Our surviving twin son, whom we've decided to name Peter, seems to be doing well so far. The doctors think that Henry passed away sometime between 30-32 weeks gestation. They do not know what happened. He was Baby A--the bigger one! The one we weren't concerned about. He was the star of all of the previous ultrasounds. The doctors were always concerned about the smaller one being too small.
The past week has been the longest, most miserable week of my entire life. After learning of Henry's demise, the doctors focused on monitoring Peter very closely. They would like him to stay in the womb until closer to 36 weeks. (I'm currently at 33 weeks.) I'm having ultrasounds (fetal biophysical profiles) twice a week, blood work weekly, and dr. visits weekly. Of course I feel like I want to get Peter out ASAP, but am trusting my doctors' wisdom and expertise. I am grateful that he looks fabulously healthy and is thriving as of now.
Even though we have great hope that Peter will be delivered healthy and happy, it does not negate the loss of his brother. Please never say "at least you have the other..." Henry deserves to be grieved and acknowledged. He is a precious gift from God. A unique soul. I will miss him every day until I'm reunited with him in Heaven. I know that someday I will throw my arms around him and the sting of his loss will be permanently erased from my heart.
Please pray for our sweet son, Peter, as we wait for him to develop a little while longer in utero. Please pray for us as we are just beginning to grieve and process this terrible news. We are so grateful for the outpouring of love, prayers, support, and meals from our friends and family--near and far.